The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas**

Everyone seems to be making a huge fuss about this book and I think if Arsenal goalkeeper Manuel Almunia likes it, it can’t be that bad.

But I didn’t really like it. It is a great idea but I feel so much more could have been done with it. The boy in the striped pyjamas, for example, is hardly in the story at all. There are lots of really interesting characters in the book but most of them just don’t appear enough to do more than whet your appetite (many don’t even do that much).

Also some of the characters’ stories don’t seem to be resolved. In some ways this is realistic because in real life, stories often aren’t resolved. Sometimes people stay the same for many years, and it doesn’t matter that they’re unhappy, they just keep going. John Boyne gives us many tantalising glimpses of places and people and situations but he doesn’t go into any detail, which is disappointing and frustrating.

The writing is fine but again, it could tell you more. The descriptions are limited. Boyne might say something interesting but he doesn’t say enough to give you a full picture. The book is written a style that’s suitable for children so maybe that’s why Boyne doesn’t go into details – he wants to keep things brief in order to keep people’s attention. Or maybe it’s just that his main character is too young to take in a great deal of what he’s seeing.

The childish language in this book would probably appeal to young children but I really don’t think this is a children’s book. There’s a lot of subtlety which I think a lot of children just wouldn’t pick up on and the subject matter doesn’t really seem appropriate for children. I do think people often underestimate children’s ability to cope with horrifying situations – a lot of the time, children cope with it a lot better than adults. They might think a situation is exciting and cool whereas an adult would understand it more fully and might be more likely to be frightened. But you don’t want children, or anyone else, to think the happenings in this book are in any way cool. They’re not.

The main character is a nine year old boy called Bruno. He lives in Berlin with his family but then they suddenly have to move somewhere new. It’s some time before Bruno even works out which country he’s in (a surprise in itself) and I had no idea of the name of Bruno’s new home because the only name we ever know is Bruno’s unsuccessful attempt to pronounce the name. On reflection, I think perhaps I know the real name of the place (I won’t say what it is because that will spoil part of the story) but it took me weeks to get it.

Bruno really is quite an annoying character. Unless he has some sort of speech impediment, I don’t really understand why he has so many problems with pronunciation. In many ways, he seems a lot younger than nine. He insists on referring to The Fury instead of The Fuhrer which is not only very annoying but also a bit dodgy linguistically. If he was speaking English, it would be a more natural mistake but he is speaking German. The German for fury is Wut. Not very much like the word Fuhrer. I really can’t see how Bruno is going to get those words confused. True, there is the German word Furie which refers to the mythological Furies and you could certainly make parallels between them and Hitler (although the Furies are, of course, female) but you wouldn’t expect a nine year old to know the word. If you don’t quite understand a certain word when it is said to you, you’re more likely to hear it as a word you know.

There are also various phrases which Bruno likes and which feature in the book far too often. Like ‘Best Friends for Life’. I don’t mind the capitals so much, German nouns (although not adjectives) all have capitals anyway but the way it’s repeated over and over again is very annoying. It would have made more sense if Bruno was younger but he seems a bit old to insist on repeating particular phrases over and over again, even in his head. Later in the book, he forgets the name of one of his Best Friends for Life but I knew what his name was! Bruno had told us enough times.

Also, it was slightly surprising that Bruno’s older sister Gretel was still playing with dolls at the age of twelve. There’s nothing wrong with it but it is very unusual. She’s not generally immature for her age – she clearly fancies the eighteen year old soldier who spends so much time at their house. The new hobby she takes up towards the end of the book isn’t very typical of twelve year old girls either. But maybe children were different then.

The end is great though. I wouldn’t say I like it but it is wonderfully chilling.

T.J. and the Hat-Trick (Theo Walcott)***

When I found out that one of my favourite Arsenal players was writing a series of children’s books, I was naturally eager to read them. In some ways, of course, I was completely jealous because I’d have loved to write a series of books about a football team and it is quite sad in a way that Theo is more publishable than me simply because he is famous – even if my writing was a million times better than his, it would make no difference.

But at the same time, I was sure I’d love the book. It’s about football, it’s by Theo, what more could I ask for? (Apart from Theo becoming eligible to play for Wales.)

It’s great to see a footballer writing about his experiences in football without doing something as ridiculous as bringing out an autobiography. Theo is twenty-one years old but I’m sure that if he expressed interest in writing an autobiography, the publishers would snap his hand off (which would have been a problem if Theo had followed his original career plan to become a goalkeeper). But he hasn’t written an autobiography. Instead he’s written some books which are fiction but which are very much based on his own life and experiences (his central character, T.J., even has the same nickname as Theo did as a child - his middle name is James). Young footballers who admire Theo can learn from the books and also enjoy reading them but he hasn’t attempted to stretch his experiences into 200,000 words or more, a book which his younger fans might find a bit difficult anyway.

In this book. T.J. has just started a new school. I think he’s about ten. On his first day, he meets pupils including star (female) striker Tulsi, the enthusiastic but fat Jamie, and Rafi, who has an allergy to keeping still. T.J. discovers that the school doesn’t have a football team – or even a football field – as none of the teachers like P.E. (I’m not sure it’s legal to have a school without P.E. lessons but I can’t say it was something that overly worried me, I think no P.E. lessons is a great idea. Get rid of all P.E. lessons and just have football, rugby and hockey teams. And completely ban netball. That would be perfect). But then new teacher Mr Wood joins the school. He loves football and he sees that T.J. and his friends really enjoy playing so he starts up a school football team, with T.J. as the star goalkeeper.

It’s not the most original story in the world and parts of it aren’t very realistic but it doesn’t matter. Walcott’s books aren’t intended to be great works of literature. They’re just fun books that encourage people to read – and I think that’s very important. A lot of the people who read this book will dream about becoming a footballer and in a way that’s exactly what the book is. Many boys and girls will have had a fantasy about the school football team coming together against the odds and achieving the impossible. Here is the fantasy in book form.

I don’t think it matters that the book isn’t realistic. Why do most people read books, if not to enjoy the fantasy? The book is exciting, full of action and a very satisfying read. It’s also well-written although I’m not sure how much was written by Walcott and how much by Paul May but the writing is good. The style is direct and easy to read and the football matches are well-described without being overly technical.

The characters are good too. They’re all distinctive yet it’s easy to imagine firstly that they’re all mad about football and that although T.J. and his friends are all quite difficult from one another, they all get along. Tulsi is slightly annoying because it’s such a strange name - I don’t think there’s any need for her to be called something so unusual. She is the only girl in the team so she would stand out even if she had a normal name. Maybe it’s a nickname, possibly based on her surname, but in that case you’d expect the teachers to use her real name. But apart from that, the characters have good names although perhaps Walcott goes overboard slightly in his efforts to be politically correct. There are a number of football-playing children who don’t have British names, probably more than is realistic. But maybe he had to do that.

Theo has written three more books about T.J. and I’d definitely be interested in reading them. They won’t be the most challenging books I’ve ever read – but if they were, I probably wouldn’t mention them on this blog. I love Emma but there’s no way I’m reviewing that on here. It would only show how stupid I am and everyone already knows how good it is.